The exit interview was the last step


I had always wondered how it would play out after my death – the after life

Here I was, about to find out


My death had been a rapid decline

  which had followed a lifetime

    filled with a preoccupation

     with how to avoid it


In the end


my end


was welcomed, at least by me


He sat down next to me on the couch.  Jesus had made a commitment to personally connect with each new arrival.  It was something he took pride in.  Even so, the years had surely taken something from him.  He was a bit weathered.  He wore an old suit from some odd era.  It didn’t fit well.  Underneath there was no shirt.  He had no socks

He crossed his legs, put his arm around me, stroked his unshaven face and weakly

feigned enthusiasm


“Well, here we are. 


So how was it?”


“How was it?

How was my life?” I thought. 


Well that’s a tough one to summarize. 


“It was beautiful and frightening.  It was ugly and intoxicating.  It was heartbreaking and lovely and painful and quiet .”


“Good, good.” Mr. Jesus said. 

“We all wanted you to enjoy it. 

Some do more than others you know.”


I told him that I was ready for the next step.  As beautiful as my life had been, there had been at least equal shares of sadness and solitude

I was ready now - really ready for heaven


He had that look on his face

It was the look

of a man who had had this conversation


over and over and over again

 

This is the conversation that had taken its toll on him

This was the reason he met with each one of us in person


“You see,” he said,  “that was it 

Sure, some days were better than others.  Some years were better than others 

Some decades and generations and eras were better than others


but that… that was it.”


I thought silently for some time.  He tapped his sockless foot patiently as I processed

this new information.  When it finally had percolated down through the gravel in my

brain, I leapt from my seat and wrapped my hands around the Lord’s neck


He looked wearily at me as his skin turned red, then purple

As I released, he suppressed a gasp and adjusted his suit


His look turned now from weary to angry


“What did you not like about my heaven

my world


that I created for you


that I gave


to you?”


“Well,” said I

standing up


In fact, I leapt to my feet


As I paced back and forth, arms in constant motion

 I told the Jesus about the insults and injuries I had endured

  The misery and prejudice that I had witnessed

   The disappointments and the loss and the tears and the pain and the blood

     and the….


When I had finally finished, I sat there with my head in my hands and I wept


To my surprise, I realized, he too was weeping

I apologized to the God for making him cry

for being ungrateful


He smiled trough his tears

 He thanked me

“You see now, don’t you?” he whispered

“Those were my gifts to you.


The moon and the misery, the song and siren, the love and the loss


You can’t truly see the one

   hear the one

     feel the one

                …without the other


That…


was Heaven.”